The Latest Shoe Tech: Nightmare Fuel

by EJN Comments (0) Articles, Commentary

Saw that a new shoe is being crowfunded, one that incorporates magnets into the midsole to replicate the quasi-weightless feel of walking on the moon. Although the tech isn’t currently being used for running shoes, it made me wonder why they would even try to do that? Just the thought of it possibly crossing over into running shoes is scary; it’s nightmare fuel.

Most runners seem to have race related nightmares that fall into 4 basic categories: Forgot/Missing Equipment, Wrong Way, Missed the Start, Running in Peanut Butter (i.e. Everybody and Their Mother Passing You). There can be different variations of each, but I have one specific recurring nightmare that throws me off even if it crosses my mind on a run: the Lunar Race.

It’s nothing more than a different spin on the Peanut Butter Nightmare, except in this one I end up bounding up and down like m-f’ing Neal Armstrong walking on the moon. It’s horrifying, really. The race will be going smoothly, everything seems to be going splendidly and I’m competing with the runners around me.

All of a sudden, my next stride takes me several feet off the ground. It’s not a flying sensation, no. It’s an unwanted state of suspension, one that makes me feel like I’m held hostage just above the ground. No matter how fast I move my arms and legs it doesn’t do any good because I can’t push off. Meanwhile, people are flying by me left and right.

The only thing I want at that moment is for my feet to touch the ground. As soon as I make contact it’s all over. I tell myself that it’s just a freak occurrence. No way it’ll happen again! Then sure enough, my feet hit the ground, I take another stride…and find myself stuck a few feet off the ground again.

It’s like I’m running on the moon (albeit in a very exaggerated manner) while everyone else is enjoying their Earth-like gravity. Sonuvabitch it just isn’t fair! And now a shoe company might be on the verge of bringing this awful nightmare to life. Good luck with that.

The shoe industry is a very tough, competitive one. There is a copycat element to it, but not always in obvious ways. Take the Adidas Springblade, for example. God only knows if that shoe was an original. What we do know is that it was a dud. Adidas was sued due to defects customers experienced. Yep, the blades didn’t quite spring like they were intended to. And here I thought they were getting sued for offending the eyes, but I digress.

This is mentioned because even after the poor sales and the lawsuit, Skechers went ahead and ripped off the shoe. So if the Springblade lives on, and multiple companies produce a variation of it, you just never know what else could be next. Anything is possible, even shoe that simulate running on the moon.

Just think, your worst nightmare (or is it just mine?) come to life and available for purchase.


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