This poem by Ray Charbonneau first appeared in our July/August 2016 magazine issue.

Product Placement

by Ray Charbonneau

 

The hunt for the right running shoe

Is bound to make you come unglued.

Searching for just the perfect sole

Can cost a lot, and takes a toll.

So many brands. What should you do

To find the shoe that’s right for you?

 

Run on the roads in Air from Nike.

Or Zoom in flats and in shoes spiky.

Though if you want to run like Meb

Buy Skechers ‘cause he’s their celeb.

Are FreshFoam soles made by New Balance

The ones you need to hone your talents?

A cushy pad of ASICS Gel

Can make it so your feet don’t swell.

The Brooks’ midsoles use DNA.

Mold to your stride, or so they say.

Rather run in La Sportiva

With LaSpEVA? I believe ya.

POWERGRID no longer fun?

Saucony switched to Everrun.

If loose shoes leave you in the dumps

Try Reeboks with their built-in pumps.

Some Puma runners ask “Why knot?”

And twist the Disc to keep shoes taut.

If those are on the narrow side,

The Topos run a little wide.

Trail runners? Accelerate

In Meta-Shanks from INOV-8.

Never trip and fall on your face

With Salomons and their Speedlace.

North Face, Merrill, or Montrail?

Maybe one of those will not fail.

Minimalism’s appeal lingers?

Vibram still sells their Five Fingers.

Like some padding with zero drop?

Make a trip to the Altra shop.

If I say ‘cushion’, you say ‘more’,

Then head down to the HOKA store.

Too much foam makes you a slug?

Try Newton’s bouncy forefoot lugs.

Mizounos let me ride the waves.

On’s Cloudsurfers are not my faves.

Hell, if you want to run on springs

Enko and Spira have those things.

Do you prefer Pearl Izumi?

Haven’t tried ‘em, please don’t sue me.

 

Any shoes, even adidas

Can help avoid the dreaded big ass.

But hopefully this little guide

Was able to help you decide.

And if the perfect shoe you find

Buy lots, before they’re redesigned.

 

Ray Charbonneau is currently running in Hoka Claytons and writing at y42k.com. One of those may have changed by the time you read this.

 

To read more from Issue #33, click here.

To read from our current issue, click here.