Guest blog by Mrs Glass
Enough is enough is enough is enough - what am I ranting about? Guilt over ‘failedâ€™ runs, missed runs, or just running in general. No one is holding a gun to my head and saying - run or else?!? My life, my career, nothing in my life depends or hinges upon my running. For peteâ€™s sake, it used to be forÂ FUN!
So why in the world have I allowed myself to get to this point? I have felt substantial guilt for missing todayâ€™s long run. I feel the need to disclose that I missed my run, then some type of justification is needed (I am super tired, sore, not motivated to do it, and have slept most of the afternoon). But after seeing a post today on someoneâ€™s social media, I realized that my personal feeling about missed runs, failed runs or just working out in general needs to stop - and it needs to stop now.
If youâ€™ve been following my blog, or know me in personal life, then you know that I am a goal oriented person. There is nothing wrong with that, and I enjoy setting and reaching for goals. And I will continue to do so. But when running turns to work and guilt then I have seriously messed up somewhere along the way.
With feeling so burn out (Too Much Training, Too Little Fun) I changed my training up a little. I ran a 5K last weekend (because it was a good cause and I liked the t-shirt). I had a blast. I ran just to run. I knew I was running too fast. I knew I couldnâ€™t sustain the pace. I knew the hills were coming, but I didnâ€™t care and I ran anyway. I did walk on the big hill. I did let my ‘leadâ€™ slip over a guy who was neck in neck. But I finished with my 2nd best time. I finished 1st in my age group, but more importantly, I finished smiling. And I congratulated those who came in before me. And it was FUN. That was the first time that running had truly been fun since… well… since before I trained for the marathon when it was all training.
I talked with my trainer and she adjusted my plan to where I ran shorter faster runs last week. And well, I loved it. It was tough. Iâ€™m still sore in lots of places, but I enjoyed running 5 miles at a faster pace than running 6+ miles slower. I also added in a spin class which I plan to continue to do, along with strength training. Anyway, today was supposed to be 10 miles, then 8 miles because I missed yesterdayâ€™s run. I was busy with the family. We went and saw Thomas the train, and I didnâ€™t have the time, nor did I want to carve out an hour of our day so that I could get my run in.
I intended on running in Dauphin today and getting my miles in. But you know, I woke up tired. I woke up just not really wanting to do it, and I didnâ€™t. And because of that decision at 8am, I have dealt with guiltÂ ALL DAY LONG. Itâ€™s 3:30pm and I was still trying to justify it to myself, and figure out how I am going to re-arrange everything next week to fix todayâ€™s mess up.
Thatâ€™s right, because it felt like I had messed up. And that is utterly ridiculous. And yes I know that it is me who is putting this pressure on me, no one else. Yes, I had hoped to PR in a Half this year, then somehow I got on the band wagon for a Marathon which changed everything, then bowed out of that (SO THANKFUL I DID) to a Half. But as things progress, I considered today if I will even do the Half. But then I slapped myself and told myself to get real and get a grip. Yes, Iâ€™m going to do the Half. Yeah, I know, the PR is probably slipping away with my lack of running. But, well, maybe thatâ€™s just whatâ€™s supposed to happen. Maybe the Half will be like the 5K, and I can run it just to run. Run like a bat outta hell when I want, walk when I want, talk to people, not talk to people, but just run for the pure joy of running.
Wow, now thatâ€™s a great idea isnâ€™t it? Maybe itâ€™s time that I truly just ran because I like to run… not because I have this huge goal to obtain and a piece of paper is telling me that today I need, must, or I will fail if I donâ€™t, run 10 miles.
Mrs Glass has completed numerous 5Ks, 10Ks, several Half Marathons, 2 Marathons, and is currently training for her 3rd Marathon. You can follow her on her blog Will Run For Ice Cream (part of our blog network).